All that glitters is not gold

She had an iconic and mesmerising smile which could attract anyone or everyone and it would be so infectious that it could create a pandemic infecting the whole world.

All that glitters is not gold. I had heard this adage long ago but I would say I realised it or rather experienced it today. In the literal sense, it means whatever appears shining or beautiful isn’t always beautiful. I would rather say, you often get attracted and mesmerised by a smiling face but we never realise the reality.

She carried with her an aura and charisma which can easily be mistaken for all good.

But if you peep in a little the dark and ugly scars are laid bare. You try to be a little closer and she would be on guard as if bitten by a snake. What had she faced or was still facing? What troubled her present? Why was their insecurity against forming any relationship? Such questions baffled one’s mind if you look at the iconic smile on her face which tried to hide everything.

She had the humour to which one would be automatically attracted. But was it to hide the bitterness within? Anyone getting intimate would be fiercely guarded to hide the wounds. Being defensive had become her very nature.

Proving continuously to the world or herself was her mantra be it in academia or creativity. Maybe she was running away from something…  She had a difficult past or maybe an unhappy childhood. Patriarchy had perhaps subjugated and oppressed her to mould her into a combination of extremes.

One could listen to her forever as if listening to a brand-new music. But when would it backfire, one never knew. On one hand, she was a jovial person cracking jokes and delivering inspiring lectures. But on the other, she would be fiery. She had a traumatised childhood and her father was responsible for it. Though at times the blame game would be witnessed, she had emerged victorious from all victimisation creating her own identity.

It hurts to hurt her. But on the Father’s Day, I was in a predicament situation. On one hand, I was weeping within, missing papa badly and on the other side I saw someone humiliating her father, that too on a public forum. It is okay to have grudges and conflicts of perspective but humiliating in the public devastated me. So, I had an outburst of emotions.

But still, I do not have the right to pass judgement when I know only one side of the story. I don’t know the pains and traumas she bore. I don’t know how many nightmarish experiences she had. I don’t know about her struggles and the reasons for her rebelliousness. I don’t know the amount of toxicity she carries within which led her to express herself in this way. I know nothing. Therefore, I did not have the right to be prejudiced or pass judgment.

Increasing curiosity forces one to know her more to weave a story of an excellent teacher with a mesmerising smile and ugly scars.

*